It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I last wrote a post. Probably because I'm avoiding owning the fact that I have hugely failed on this round of 12wbt. This week is coming up to week 8 and I've basically lost a kilo.

I know my centimetres lost has been ok but the scales have barely budged and as much as I'd like to blame a million reasons the only reason is that I have been slack with my diet. I haven't followed the guidelines to the letter and I haven't exercised 6 days a week. I've eaten 'around' the calorie limit most days but with some MAJOR binges and I've exercise on average 4 times a week.

I know its not entirely in the scales but I just want to weight about 10-15 kilos less than I currently do. I know it won't be easy and it will be just as hard as losing the weight I've already lost, if not harder, and its not through lack of wanting it but its from lack of self-control and focusing on that goal and doing whatever it takes to get there.

I suppose part of the reason I haven't written a post for a month is because I've not wanted to face up to that truth. Every weekend I tell myself start again on Monday but I shouldn't have to be saying that to myself every weekend. I shouldn't be putting ice-cream and chocolate in my shopping trolley, I don't need to have the piece of cake or biscuits being offered at staff morning teas, what I need is to stop and reexamine what I want to achieve, why I want to achieve it and how I am going to get there.

Weight loss is not an easy overnight fix and even with the assistance of programs such as 12wbt ultimately it comes down to me to use what I know and what I have access to in order to achieve what I want.

So I've got 4 weeks left of 12wbt. I'll admit now I won't follow the nutrition to the exact letter as I tend to stick to the same breakfast and fairly similar lunches whilst mixing the dinners up but I can stay within my calorie limits.

I'm not going to achieve what I would have liked this round but I know why. I don't know if I'll sign up for another round because there are other programs out there I might like to give a go. However, I like the regular exercise plans and if I can use them and then have access to the recipes rather than following the meals exactly as planned out then maybe I might do something like lean and strong because I do enjoy doing weights ALOT more than doing cardio.

Ah, now that is all written down and off my chest maybe I can start to refocus and keeping reaching for goals. I suppose its a case of three steps forward, one step back for me at the moment. I'll just keep on plodding - I guess even a tortoise can win the race.

Letting life get in the way

So I've been loosely following the 12wbt eating plan and getting through the exercises, although I tend to only do 4-5 days of the program rather than all 6. I've been letting life get in the way to much instead of making these changes part of my priorities.

I saw the results of not following exactly and also having a massive binge/blowout on the scales last week with an increase of 600g. I was disappointed but knew I only had myself to blame.

I plan and prepare as best I can and then I end up letting one side of my brain win over the other - why can't it always just be on the side I need it to be!

I've found myself going out more often than I should be for both diet and financial reasons. Also having my husbands birthday cake still lingering in the kitchen has been a huge temptation. I won't lie and say I haven't had any but I certainly have devoured it like I would have in previous years.

This coming week I can flag next weekend as a red flag as I've got a friend and my sister both visiting from interstate which I'm really looking forward to and I'm sure alcohol and food will be heavily featured in our catch ups. My sister is quite health conscious and is gluten-free for health reasons so in some ways that might mean it won't be as bad as possible. I'm also going to be super strict during the week to help factor in my red flag days.

I've been up to the gym this morning and I've just customised my meal plan for the week to come and made my shopping list so I won't have any reason not to stick to that. Tomorrow I'm going to make a big pot of beef and red wine stew so that will do dinner tomorrow and Monday night.

I'll write my exercise plans up later today or tomorrow and know I can get to the gym each night this coming week and if I become aware of needing to stay late at work one night then I will get up and go in the morning.

It will be week 4 measurements next weekend so I'm hoping even without a huge loss on the scales there might be some improvements in regards to cm's lost and I'm sure my fitness test will also improve as I've been feeling fitter, faster and stronger.

Week One done

So today is the end of week one of 12wbt and I will admit it has not been a good week in regards to either diet or exercise and I will be surprised if there is a loss on the scales come Wednesday.

I could list a million reasons why my week hasn't been good but at the end of the day they are excuses and I've sat and had a good long and hard think about things.

A few things over the week just made me feel like everything was just a bit tough and I admit I turned to food to get through it, when I should have made smarter choices.

It all started off well, and while I was away I ate quite well making wise food choices. It then just started to fall apart as the week progressed with work stress and a family situation. I know sometimes life throws things at us and you can't always be perfect with nutrition and fitness but I feel frustrated with myself that I let it get so out of hand.

Anyway, I've had a good look in the mirror and a bit of a pep talk to myself and I'm all prepared for the week ahead. I've got my groceries, I've got my meal plans, I've got my exercise plans all written out and all my gym gear is clean and I will pack my bag tonight. There will be no "I can't be bothered tonight" moments this week and there will be no need to incorporate silly choices into my diet.

Saturday night will be my red flag as it is my husbands birthday but that is also the perfect reason not to have any alcohol as he can enjoy a few drinks with dinner and I can be the sober driver. I will also be able to make a smart choice food wise no matter where he selects for dinner and since its a treat meal night it also means I'll have a few extra calories than normal to allocate to my dinner.

Feeling a bit glum heading into week 2 but am sure if I can sort this mental stuff out and empower myself to stay focused and on track then come weigh in next week I'll be feeling much better about things.

Getting ready for the round

I have printed off my menu plan, recipes and fitness plan for next week with Monday being day one of the June 12wbt round. I'm really looking forward to being back on the program and working towards my goals with the structure and support which I think you get from doing 12wbt.

I've done my groceries today so I'm prepared for the week and am really looking forward to the food again. A few of my previous favourites are on the menu for this week as well as a new dish which I'm looking forward to trying out.

I have a "red flag" day the first two days as I'm heading away on Monday night for work. I'm only away for the one night and whilst I won't have the 12wbt dinner I'll be able to choose something smart like fish and salad and then its just breakfast and lunch the next day so it will be again just making smart choices but I'll be able to have my planned dinner on Tuesday night. I'll just have to control myself when in the Qantas Lounge and not take advantage of the drinks in business class!!!

I also like that my exercise plan is provided and whilst I don't mind sitting and writing out my own programs each week, having this makes life that little bit easier and it will also work on increasing cardio fitness and strength over the 12 weeks, meaning by the end I'll be able to go that little faster and/or longer and be lifting/pushing/pulling heavier weights.


Feel like things are on the right track again in regards to my health and fitness and I can't wait to get properly started.

A Good Day

Today has been a good day with regards to my fitness and diet, and even just in general.

I did my fitness test for the 12wbt program tonight to check I've selected the right program. It marks you out of 50 and I got 65 and it is suggested if you fall within 55-100 then you should be on the advanced program.

In 4 weeks my goal is to increase this to 70, so I just need to run a bit further, do a couple more pushups, hold my plank and wall sit that little bit longer and reach 1cm more! By the end of 12 weeks hopefully this will be even better.

In addition to my fitness test I just did a general cardio night spread across the cross-trainer, a steady state jog and hill intervals and then random intervals on the bike. Then followed with a minute of mountain climbers, a minute of squat pushes with 5kg and then some abs work and stretching.

I have also been mindful of my diet today and with some forward planning have kept within my calorie limit but haven't felt hungry at the same time either which is excellent. Was quite proud of myself at lunchtime as I was greeted with shelves of chocolate on sale when I popped into a department store to get some new pantyhose but I didn't give in to temptation and felt like if I can do that then, then I can keep doing it.

So on a high after my exercise, all those endorphins must be pumping, and a day of good eating I feel like I'm in the mind space to get on with achieving my health and fitness goals over the next 12 weeks and in to the future.

Saturday Session

I had my first session with my new personal trainer this morning and absolutely loved it. It was a session so she could see how fit I am and my form. It was also nice to be outside doing the workout. As much as I love the gym it is nice to get outside and enjoy the scenery - we were lucky the rain stayed away too.

We did some circuit training mixing strength and cardio and then an ab circuit - I can feel the muscles in my butt and my abs even now an hour after I finished. That's some quick working exercises!

I've been back in the gym this week with a focus on weights because its what I enjoy the most, however there has been some cardio too. A good mix of working all my body parts, although still struggling with lunge a bit because when I put my bad knee backwards its quite painful but aside from that everything was working well and I was happy with the weights I was lifting/pushing.

I also re-signed to the 12wbt this week for the June round. I know I need the guidance again, I find having the set plans and workouts is easy for me to follow and definitely helps with my discipline around food and exercise.

I did lose 500g last week so since I've taken some time to refocus and try and establish routines again it is starting to have dividends which is pleasing to see. I know my diet could still be a lot better so that really is my key focus, with my secondary focus being to add strength through my training.

Interestingly, last time I did the 12wbt program both rounds were set at 1200 calories, I'm doing the same program as the last one I did but this time the calories will be at 1500 so I'm interested to see how this is done, whether its eating larger meals or more snacks etc. I can access my first meal plans from the end of this coming week with the official start date 23 June.

DOMS

Yesterday was my first time at a pump class for quite some time. The classes during the week don't fit with my work hours so I jumped at the chance yesterday morning since I was up and about to get to the gym and hit the class.

I loved being back at pump and the the instructor did release 45 so the music was like a blast from the past and I had a great time. I had my weights about the same as what I've used in the past and felt like I had a good workout.

Today I have DOMS. Sitting down to use the toilet is slightly uncomfortable through my thighs and I can feel the muscles in my back too. Interestingly, my biceps were burning through the track yesterday but they are feeling ok now.

I wish I could get to more classes during the week but since my gym is near my home and I work in the CBD it just isn't going to happen so I think Saturday mornings will be a permanent pump class day.

Getting back into things

So I've slowly been getting movement back into my knee and over the weekend got a few kilometres under belt just out walking and also with a gentle run on the treadmill. Today though I felt as if things have been feeling much better so I decided I've give my running challenge a go again.

I knew to be careful and not overdo things but I figured my fitness has been maintained so need to go back to square one, so I just went back a couple of days in the program and instead of running at 10-12km/h I dialled it back to 9-9.5km/h. Bit frustrating having to run slower but better to get stronger going slowly than do any damage going fast. Pleased to say I easily got through that program so should be back to where I was a few weeks ago within a few days - yay!

My head is a bit all over the place with food choices at the moment which is frustrating and I start with all the best intentions in the world and then it goes downhill and too often has ended up with binge eating. Think I need to tell myself to snap out of whatever is going on and sort my shit out and insert some necessary self-control.

My new job is great and I'm enjoying it immensely, does tend to lend itself to not eating regularly and therefore more tempting to grab foods on the run or a chocolate bar for lunch etc but with good planning and stocking of my drawer and the fridge at work I think I will be fine.

Now I'm able to use my left leg again I'll be asking for another program at the gym which focuses on more than just my back and arms - although I must say they have got some definition to them at the moment thanks to getting a few extra days than normal!

I think to help on the food front I will be sitting down this weekend and making a plan, when I know what I'm expecting for the week it helps keep me on track. As they say, failing to plan is planning to fail.

The magic of a week

This week has seen some good news for me and I am feeling much more upbeat about things. I was offered a full-time permanent position doing something I love and am good at and I was able to complete my contract where I had been working so that I finished on Friday and therefore can start my new role tomorrow, I am very excited but also a bit nervous.

I also did some more research into the diet plan of the health coach I was looking at using and decided that it really wasn't me, especially with putting my body into ketosis and playing around with that. I have a medical condition which can be quite significantly impacted if you play around with ketogenics, so much so that it is sometimes used to help control the condition particularly in children but in a hospitalised situation. Needless to say I have decided this is not the path for me.

I have been going through my old 12wbt recipes as well as some other resources I have and planning my meals from there and focusing on healthy, nutritious meals and foods I enjoy. It is about portion control and making wise decisions but not necessarily restricting myself completely from everything I enjoy.

I also had a bit of a breakdown about my own self-image and feelings to my husband and it was a really good conversation and made me realise that for me I hold being skinny on quite a pedestal and I really want to be skinny but at the same time I want to bit fit and toned and made me think about why do I want to be skinny so much and will I ever get to the place where I am happy with my look. It is quite scary to step back and look at it and think it could be a slippery slope into an eating disorder if I don't assess things and take a look at myself.

Also, despite my knee still leaving me out of any sort of running or leg action I have been back in the gym and got a program done up with one of the trainers to focus on what I can do until my knee is back to normal. I had physio on Thursday and she said if I'd fallen slightly harder on my knee or fell to a different angle by the slightest degree I may have dislocated by knee, but lucky it appears I've torn the fibrous tissue holding my knee cap which means it's a bit wobbly but not dislocated - phew! Hopefully I'll be back pounding the pavement in about four weeks time.

So, I'm looking forward to the week ahead. I've got the challenges of a new job which I can't wait to sink my teeth into, I've got a pantry and fridge stocked with all the foods I need to make wise food choices and I've got a program to be working on in the gym. I feel as if everything is on track again and that makes me happy.

Back to the gym

Today I was back in the gym after not going since I hurt my knee.

I did a weight session focusing on my arms and back and did a 15 minute low intensity cycle to start. My knee was ok whilst I was cycling however certain movements during the weights, specifically where I rested on my knees, was a bit painful.

I've been off the crutches and out of any knee support over the weekend and I will admit my knee has been aching so hopefully that is just because its getting used to moving again. I will be careful not to overdo it as I get back into the swing of things at the gym as I don't want to do more damage and if it doesn't stop aching I think I might have to pay a visit to a physio but here's hoping it will sort itself out.

I went for a very slow walk with my husband and our dog this evening which I enjoyed, it was nice to be back outside walking, however I did need to rest my knee afterwards and it also made me a bit sad I can't be out there running.

Last week my husband was driving mevinto and picking me up from work in the city and as we would head home each evening I'd often see people out running and comment how jealous I was. My husband said one night "hashtag things Anna wouldn't have said twelve months ago". This cemented for me just how much my exercise has changed but also the mindset which goes along with it.

I am frustrated my goal to get to 10km has been halted but I will be back on it as soon as I can. Even if it might be just walking to start with and slowly building back up to running. Fingers crossed its sooner rather than later.

For now I will focus on doing the low intensity cardio which I am able to participate in without pain and keep doing weights for my areas which aren't legs. It can be very tempting to not do anything but I know I need to keep the routine up and now I am able to drive myself again I'll be back in the gym and keeping on with my workouts.

In regards to my nutrition I am trying a new program out. I have to admit I'm a little bit skeptical as it seems to cut out a lot of carbohydrates and I'm not that keen on sacrificing food areas to ensure weight loss because I don't think that is maintainable in the long run but I'll give it a go and see if it suits me. It's also quite big on having you take supplements which again I'm a bit skeptical about, I tend to prefer to give my body what it needs through food rather than with pills and potions.

Weight loss really is a journey and I'm prepared to give things a go and see if it works for me. I was contemplating signing up for the current round of 12wbt to get back on track but instead have ended up on this other program and I am regretting it a bit if I'm honest. Oh well I can't change that now. I'll give it a go for at least a month, as that how the program is structured and then see what I want to do from there.

So much inside my head at the moment about my training and food as well as things in life. It would be nice to be able to shut it all out sometimes - maybe I need to get into yoga!

Emotions and food

I am an emotional eater. I have been for as long as I can remember and it is certainly part of the reason I got as big as I did. I understand the quote "I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat."

Part of the weight loss/lifestyle change for me has been trying to disconnect my emotions from food. I am certainly better than I used to be but no matter what I eat it still triggers emotions and I do still turn to food as a comfort sometimes.

Trying to change these habits is hard and while I've been out of exercise due to my knee I've tended to turn to food because I've not had exercise as my go-to space. Not exercising and instead eating for comfort has led to me being remarkably emotional and also feeling quite down about myself, particularly in regards to my food choices.

Today I had had a really good day, I shouldn't refer to it as a good day but I'd made wise choices and still choices that I had really enjoyed, then my husband suggested we go out for dinner and I ate way too much and feel really gross and guilty about it. I feel like I let myself down and now my brain is reprimanding myself for choices I made. As someone who experiences these feelings I can understand how people get to the stage where the voices take over and sadly they end up with eating disorders and extremely ill.

I know I need to disengage this connection with good/bad, guilty/innocent when it comes to food because that in itself plays into the whole emotional eating side of things. I should eat what I like and enjoy it, which includes lots of delicious fruit, vegetables, meats, dairy and wholemeal grains as well as chocolate and ice cream. I should eat in moderation for what my body needs and not link things to being bad or good foods or feeling filled with guilt  about my choices. However, this is so much easier said than done.

I am hoping with my fitness/health coach I will be able to work on some of these head issues in regards to my nutrition to help keep me on track and reaching the goals I want.

Refocusing and Reassessing

So I've been reassessing my goals in regards to my health and fitness, I have to say hurting my knee was part of re-examining things because obviously running is off the cards for a little bit, which is really frustrating, but I can't run on my knee and that's a reality not an excuse. I'll be back doing what I can as soon as I can - I am hating having to lounge around and not be able to do things. My husband keeps telling me to sit down whenever I try and do anything, I know I need to rest my knee but I don't like feeling a bit helpless!!!

Anyway, I've been thinking about where I am currently am with my health and fitness and have made some decisions about things I want to achieve. I am quite happy with my fitness but would like to continue to build my strength up through weights and also tone up. I also really want to get to my 10km running goal so I will be back on that as soon as I can. To do this I will be getting a program through the gym and then continuing with the running app as well.

In regards to my health, my diet has not been as good as it should be and since moving to Brisbane a few kilos have come back on. My clothes all still feel good and they fit me but I'm very conscious of slipping into bad habits with my diet and so I need to pull myself up on this. I have such a fear of gaining back all the weight I've lost but at the same time find eating not-so-healthy foods happening more than it should.

I met with Ray Hope today who is an Australia powerlifting champion to discuss my goals. He is going to help me achieve my goals through a structured meal plan and some extra exercise tips. He is also going to help me work out why I want to achieve these things and working on my mindset to help me get the most out of myself. I'm quite excited about the prospects this may hold.

So with a new week upon me I will be making healthy meal choices and snacking wisely and as soon as I'm out of the leg brace and off the crutches will be hitting the gym, although it will be my arms probably getting a decent workout for now.

A Setback

Feeling rather frustrated today.

I slipped at the train station on Wednesday and fell and hurt my knee. I was fine at the time aside from an obvious graze and the fact I was bleeding but cleaned it all up and was on my way. I went to the gym that night and did my running program doing about 5km and then a 15km cycle. I went to work yesterday and was fine then about 11am my knee started to burn but I assumed it was just my graze.

Anyway, as the day progressed my knee got progressively more painful and by the time I got home last night I was limping quite significantly and in a fair bit of pain. As the night progressed the pain continued to increase to the point where I was suffering nausea and crying from the pain. My husband and I made the decision I needed to go and get it checked out because there was no way I could cope with that pain so off we went to the hospital.

Thankfully it's nothing serious and nothing is broken but rather it is a nasty sprain, however I'm not allowed to weight bear today so I spent the morning in bed and now I'm on the couch. I'm all dosed up on painkillers to try and manage the excruciating pain and I have a leg brace to provide some support too.

I'm so frustrated because this will halt my running and exercise, I had to cancel my program planning I had for tomorrow and I just hate being so confined. It's ok when you choose to have a break but being forced to is annoying, especially as I really want to re-focus on my diet and exercise and get some more kilos off and get fitter.

As frustrating as this rest is I know I need to do it because I literally can't walk on my left leg and I know I need to make sure not to push it too hard too soon because otherwise I'll do more damage and only prolong my recovery.

Here is me hobbling around.

On a more positive note, I am meeting with Australian powerlifter Ray Hope on Sunday as part of his campaign to have 1000 healthy people by Christmas, to see if he can help me reach my goals. Additionally, my husband and I are off to see Hugh Laurie perform so that will certainly be a very bright point in my day and is something I've been looking forward to for a couple of months. I'll just be sure to make sure I've got a good supply of painkillers with me!

I'm a fully fledged gym member again

I signed up properly tonight to the gym I trialled a few weeks ago. I feel so happy to know I have my gym space again. As soon as I signed up I was straight into a workout, being in the gym for me feels really comfortable now - although at my old gym I tended to stick to the ladies room, so I had to get used to having the boys around me tonight, man they can lift some seriously heavy weights!

Given that my thighs and calves are still feeling a bit sore after Saturday's stairs marathon and I really wanted to weight train tonight, I focused on my back and arms with just a 15 minutes cycle to warm up. There is nothing like doing some weights, in my opinion anyway. With cardio I get a bit like "hurry up, when does this end" but when I'm doing weights I'm trying to focus on technique and feeling the squeeze and really pushing especially when my mind is like "go on, drop the weight for the last set".

I will admit I probably went a little lighter than I could have for some of my weights but having not been going regularly for a month now I wasn't sure how my strength has held up, and whilst I probably could have started higher I know I would have needed to drop down and I still feel like I had a good workout but now know I can go heavier and/or longer next time. Will be interesting to see how the muscles feel in the morning.

I'm getting a proper program done up on Saturday morning with one of the trainers so am looking forward to sitting down and working out what exactly I want to achieve and how I can go about doing that.

Meeting new people and exercising in the process

Aren't all these long weekends so nice! It's going to be a shock to the system to work five days in a row, I haven't done that since March and its May at the end of this week.

I have again used the long weekend as an opportunity to exercise. Yesterday evening I met up with two lovely ladies I have never met before but we wound up together due to a call out from a mutual friend to see who might be up for it. We spent an hour at Kangaroo Point in Brisbane running up and down more stairs than I care to count and then did some extra running on top of that to fill in the time and get the calorie burn up.

I had a great time. Not only were the other two ladies so lovely and friendly but they have also both lost incredible amounts of weights so hearing their stories was really inspiring and they were both so encouraging. Additionally the sun was setting and lights of the city were on and it was just a simply stunning spot to do a workout, we weren't the only ones exercising or enjoying the view.

Today I'm feeling the effects of all that stair running with rather tight calves and thigh muscles, however I needed to complete Week 3 of my couch to 10km program so I've not long returned from doing that. It was a struggle, my legs did not want to cooperate and I'm sure I wasn't going very fast but I went, I worked through the soreness and I got it done. So thats week 3 done and dusted - here's to week 4! Hard to believe this time next week I will have being doing the program for a month, it certainly doesn't feel that long.

One of the ladies I met last night was telling me about Park Runs which are on every Saturday morning where you can go and run 5km for free and you get timed. I am definitely going to investigate this as I think it sounds like a good way to keep inspired to train and work to improve your time.

Its supposed to be a bit wet for a few days this week so I might end up signing up for the gym so I can get some workouts done inside, plus I'm really missing my weights, but I'll go running if the rain isn't too heavy because I know I need to stick to my program otherwise I'll never reach this goal.

Enjoying the outdoors

I have to say that I love being able to run along the promenade where I live. It makes me so thankful to live in such a beautiful spot and to have weather which is usually quite good but even with some rain it's still quite a nice spot to run along.

I'm certainly not the only one who makes the most of living in this wonderful spot and it's normally quite busy when I head along there, especially after work and on the weekends.

As it isn't sheltered I will sometimes head into the streets around the area rather than run along the water to get some shade provided from the trees, but even though there isn't the water view there are so many beautiful queenslander style homes around I enjoy having a bit of nosey. It is also quite nice running the streets as there isn't normally anyone else on them since everyone heads to the water.

I find it interesting to think how far I've come with my running. Not all that long ago I had a firm mindset I wasn't a runner, a mindset I've had for as long as I can remember. It probably stems from the fact I used to lose cross-country at school and I HATE losing. My family and friends can all assure you how competitive I am. But since I changed my mindset I started off doing bits and bobs on the treadmill and slowly building this up, I was too scared to run outside and felt say inside the confines of the gym.

Now I would rather run on the pavement than run on a treadmill, I enjoy the sunshine (or the rain), the breeze and just being outside. I also like that things can change outside and you run at the speed you can achieve that particular day and in that particular moment rather than pre-setting the treadmill, I often run faster than I would set for myself, not on purpose but because I obviously run faster than I think!

Easter Monday = Shin Splits, Stitch and Struggle Street

Today I set out for Day One, Week Three of my Couch to 10km program, after a rather easter themed and not-so-nutrionally-balanced breakfast of chocolate and coffee.

I don't whether my weekend diet is behind it or whether my body was just like "nope, so not in the zone today" but I got shin splints and the stitch whilst out doing the program.

Luckily the program is in intervals so I used the walking intervals to massage the stitch area and basically walk it off however when I was walking that was when the shin splints hurt the most. I felt like I was out running down struggle street.

I did the program as needed and as it was only 26 minutes today I then went for an additional run throwing in a couple of decent inclines to get the heart rate up.

I know shin splints could be due to not running correctly or maybe even needing new runners so I'll keep an eye on that. In regards to the stitch from what I've read in the past they're not entirely sure why people get it, there are a few theories but nothing set in stone, but the best thing to do is try and massage it out. Interestingly, normally when I get the stitch I get it on my left hand side but today was on the right so maybe its decided to switch sides.

I am pleased I completed the prescribed task and didn't let the niggles stop me and even better that I went that little bit further to ensure I keep challenging myself.

Have had a lovely Easter weekend, lots of lazing about the house, enjoying some chocolate eggs and hot cross buns. I've also done exercise everyday aside from Saturday, although I did go for a splash in the sea, so I'm feeling quite happy that even though my diet has been far far far from perfect I've ensured I've kept my exercise routine up, as once you break it I know it is hard to get back into it!

Hidden Athlete Badge

Today I completed week two of the couch to 10km program and with that I earnt my hidden athlete badge. Whilst it is still predominantly interval running I have noticed it feels like its getting harder, even if it is only an extra 30 seconds or minute on the interval.

I started the program taking the dog with me but since he likes to stop and smell the roses, literally, and wants to play with every dog along the way it gets frustrating tugging on the lead while I'm running so he now stays home and I just take him out for a walk or the dog park at a different time of the day.

This means I can focus on pace and technique as I run. I still wouldn't say it is a hard workout but I know I am working up to running for time periods which will be a real challenge.

I really like the app however it doesn't measure the distance you run as well as the time you run for which is a little annoying. I have an idea of the distances I'm doing but I don't know exactly and I don't think I can have the map my run app going while I also have the running app going which is a little frustrating.

Today's run was good but a little frustrating too because its such a nice day and there were markets on near where I live, so every man, woman, child and dog was out, I swear I spent the first half of my run zig-zagging - it reminded me of doing drills for netball back when I used to play.

Looking forward to what next weeks workouts will be and also getting a better focus back on my diet too. But for now it's easter and I'm going to enjoy some chocolate and hot cross buns!

Back to reality

After almost a month of not working I have got a contract job doing some basic data entry and analysis so it was a seriousl jolt of back to reality today.

No more nice sleep ins until 9am, not more going for a run along the waterfront when I feel like it or doing what I want basically whenever I please. No, instead it was a nice 6am alarm to ensure I was up, showered, dressed, had breakfast eaten and had wandered down to the train station by 7.15am.

I did get ready quite promptly so I think I'll allow myself an extra ten minutes in bed in the morning - when it involves alarms which start with a number less than 7 I always think any extra minutes in bed are fantastic.

I got the first two days of my couch to 10km running done and dusted on Monday and Tuesday, I had intended to at least got for a walk tonight but I am honestly shattered and also needed to go and get some groceries as the cupboards were bare. (Excuses I know!)

However, by the time I walk from my house to the train station and then from the station in the city to my workplace I've easily walked about 2.5-3km today which obviously isn't as fast or as focused as when I go walking but its a vast improvement on when I used to be able to park not even 50m from the front door of my old workplace and drove every day.

Knowing I'll be able to get home tomorrow in the late afternoon means I know I will be going for a run or walk tomorrow and then I'll definitely be hitting the pavement on Friday to do the third and final day of the couch to 10km for this week.

Trying to plan all my meals in advance so that I'm not purchasing meals and getting caught out with temptations, although I will admit I'm allowing myself some easter treats namely chocolate and hot cross buns, but it is straight back into focused meals come next week.

For now, it's almost 8pm and I'm pretty much ready to head to bed for soon - I am indeed Nanna Anna - luckily its only 2 days this week and 3 next week to ease myself back into the working routine.

Online Workouts

It is not always possible to get to the gym and its easy to convince yourself you don't want to go outside because its raining or too hot, or lets be honest you just can't be bothered. These of course are excuses but at the end of the day we all succumb to them at some stage.

One thing we can't get away from is the fact there are plenty of online workouts available for free and which can be done in the comfort of your own home at anytime. Whether this means getting up 30 minutes earlier to leap around the living room or not sitting aimlessly channel surfing at night, it is possible to do SOMETHING at home.

I've found some great workouts online which I've then incorporated into my gym routines and on youtube there are some excellent home workouts ranging from pilates and yoga, to HIIT and strength circuits. Fitness Blender is a particular page I go to on youtube and they have a huge range of workouts, all easy to do at home with varying lengths of time - there are 5 minute workouts so really there is no excuse not to do something!

I've found the start of my couch to 10km program quite easy in regards to a workout as currently its running/walking for about 30 minutes, so I've been incorporating some of the fitness blender workouts in as an additional workout to get the calories burning and the heart rate up - trust me you will get a sweat on!

Obviously there is always the added risk of doing a workout at home following something online if you don't follow the technique properly and there isn't someone there to correct you like at the gym, however most routines I've found have an excellent demonstration and also advise you to take it at your own pace ensuring your technique is correct and you're not doing yourself some injury.

So if you don't go to the gym or can't get to the gym on a certain day and don't feel like getting out the runners and going for a walk or run, then I'd suggest having a surf of the net and finding a workout which might take your fancy in that particular moment - remember even a good stretching workout has its benefits! The internet has made our lives easier in so many ways, but it has also reduced the ability to have an excuse not to exercise.

Off Scale Achievements

When losing weight it is super easy to become obsessed with the number on the scale and use this as your only sense of achievement. Even now after losing over 30kg I still fixate on the scales and have to give myself a shake and look at everything else which I've achieved over my weight loss - my fitness being a number one off scale achievement.

At the start of 2013 I would not go for a walk let alone a run for fun, I'd take the dog for a walk but that was really about it. Now, I get fidgety if I don't exercise and I've just got back from a 4km run in the rain - no excuse not to exercise, not like I will melt in the rain.

Here is a photo out in the rain:

This is definitely an achievement which doesn't show up on the scales. The scales show a number which is reflective of so many elements, including bloating, which as a female has a nasty wee habit of changing ALL THE TIME especially around that time of the month.

Unfortunately the scales don't pop up saying - leg press more than body weight, run further and faster than ever before, doesn't eat an entire packet of tim tams - no, it is up to us to remind ourselves of these achievements.

Today I went shopping and I picked up a size 12 skirt to try on, this in itself is something to be proud of since I used to either a) avoid picking up clothes because I wanted to avoid acknowledging my size or b) was selecting a size 18 or 16 but I had to get the size 10 today. I felt really pleased with myself.

Me in my new skirt which I love - navy and white stripes!

The scales have been quite constant recently, which is good that I'm maintaining, but my head still wants to see that scale number go down, and I do still want to lose a bit more weight, however to know clearly the exercise is paying off and my shape is changing and toning I am able to wear a size 10 is a pretty good feeling.

By no means would I say I'm a say 10, I'd say I'm a size 12, it is still pretty nice knowing how far I've come and acknowledging the achievements I've made beyond a number on the scales.

Remedial Massage

This morning I went and had a remedial massage and it was SO good.

I have ongoing shoulder soreness, particularly in my right shoulder, which I've experienced for many years and is put down to my many years of being a swimmer and the fact I am right handed so I'm reliant on that arm for doing things.

It has been quite sore recently and when I went for a swim a last week it was quite painful to do freestyle at times. I also notice it when I do any overhead arm/shoulder movements.

I was very impressed with my therapist. He is ex-army and has had a few injuries himself over the years and he thoroughly explained what he was doing, that it wasn't going to be comfortable but that it would help with my complaints.

He was right - it was uncomfortable, even slightly painful at times but I feel amazing after it. I will definitely be going back for more in the future as I require it and I figure I have cover in my health fund so I should get what I'm paying for.

It's always interesting when I get massage to find areas you don't know are sore either until they start working the muscles - this was certainly the case as he did my thighs. He straight away said to me "you do squats regularly don't you" - which is the case - because the way my muscles are indicated this and my reaction to the pressure on them. Also didn't help it was legs days too days ago and then I went running last night too.

Whilst it is not the most comfortable experience and is nothing like going to get a nice relaxation massage at a day spa, I really enjoy this type of massage. I know it is helping my muscles and staying on top of soreness/injuries is crucial to ensuring I don't do any further damage and allows me to protect them and help them stay strong.

Wonderful Weights

There is a real misconception, particularly amongst women, that to lose weight you need to do endless amounts of cardio. This is NOT the case.

I am by no means saying don't do any cardio, although there are plenty of websites which will tell you it is possible to lose weight this way, but rather to mix workouts up with a mixture of cardio and strength training - even combine the two into HIIT workouts.

I love strength training, I love the definition it gives to my muscles and I like that it actually makes me stronger. I've gone from lifting tiny little dumbbells to lifting heavy barbells. I can leg press more than my own weight, I can do assisted pull-ups with lifting over half my body weight (my goal is to get to just pull-ups with no assistance) but at the same time I know my limitations and also have to be careful of an old shoulder injury.

There are also a number of other health benefits to lifting weights, some of which I've listed below:
1. Quality Sleep
2. Improved energy
3. Heart Health
4. Bone Health
5. Stress Relief

Lots of women also worry about bulking up. It is seriously unlikely you will end up looking like a body builder unless you are specifically training to look like that because it involves extremely specific training and a super strict diet!

Look at some of the famous fit women out there, people like the Michelle Bridges and Jillian Michaels, they are toned but they are not bulky.

If you're not sure where to start ask at your gym or go online, there are so many forums and websites with useful tips and information and even workouts. I'd even suggest giving a body pump class ago to get a flavour for weights - although remember this class is high repetition so is a bit different to a weights training program.

Day One was well, easy!

So today I undertook Day One, Week One, training for couch to 10km and it was easy. I know the idea is to build up over the 14 weeks but I certainly felt like this wasn't really a workout since most of the time was spent walking.  I was tempted to run a bit further but I really want to learn to do this properly so didn't.

Instead, when I got home I found a HIIT/Tabata workout online and did that for 45 minutes (under the ever watchful eye of my black labrador, Barney) - definitely felt like I'd had a good workout after that. It suggested using dumbbells and/or kettle bells for some of the exercises but since I don't have any of them I just grabbed some loose bricks which are under the house - if it's a bit of weight anything will do! Even a bag of flour or  tin of peaches if need be. No excuses!

To be honest I really didn't feel like exercising today, I'd spent the morning fluffing around the house doing cleaning and ironing etc and my husband popped home for lunch. I felt like just blobbing on the couch doing nothing, however once I got my joggers on and was out on the waterfront I knew I'd done the right thing and given I still wanted more when I got home I think sometimes you just need to get your feet out the door and get going and then you're in the mood. Most of the time the biggest battle to overcome for exercising is just getting out the door.

When I was doing the Michelle Bridges 12wbt program I remember she said when you don't feel like exercising go and do ten minutes. 9 times out of 10 you will keep going and if you finish at the end of 10 minutes well you've done 10 minutes more exercise than you would have done anyway.

Personally, whenever I haven't felt like exercising and still go and do it I always do a full workout - it might not be the longest or hardest workout but I'm there doing it so I should do it properly. Often choosing to go to a class when you're not feeling in the best space is helpful too, you just go along and get told what to do and you know you'll be out in 45 mins - 60 mins. That's my default option anyways.

Looking forward to the next training day, which I anticipate I will also find easy as it only incorporates about another 1-2 minutes of running. Am sure as I get further along the word "easy" when referring to the training will no longer be part of my vocabulary!!!

Setting goals

So as I've lost weight and become fitter I have found myself running more than ever before. I used to HATE running and can remember trying to reason with the Physical Education teacher at school to allow me to swim laps instead of have to run! I dreaded cross country. So I now find it amusing that I like to put my joggers on and hit the pavement.

I used to prefer running on the treadmill but now prefer to run along the streets, nice to have a changing scenery and where we live now I can run along the waterfront which is just perfect and it's nice to see other people out enjoying the sunshine and exercising too.

So last night as I assessed where I'm at I decided to look up running aps and what would be a good short term goal, so I downloaded the couch to 10km ap. I can currently run 5km (and even a bit further) non-stop and would like to be able to build this up so over the next 14 weeks that's my goal.

Hoping once I've mastered this distance if I decide I like it maybe I can start to do some fun runs and maybe even consider some longer distances.

Who would have ever thought I'd be actively finding ways to run and train! It's amazing how much your mindset can change as your fitness does and you want to find new ways to push yourself.

Starting a fresh

So after not really following the 8 week challenge as I had hoped due to a lack of discipline and some serious life changes, namely moving state and being without my husband for awhile, I still managed to finish the challenge on less than what I started and my fitness has certainly improved, which at the end of the day is the most important thing, even if I would prefer to see a nice low number on the scales.

I am now in Brisbane and our house is all set up (aside from a few boxes of bits and bobs which will slowly find homes) and am feeling much more settled and a million times happier. I've been enjoying living only a block from the beach and have been for walks and/or runs and/or swims on an almost daily basis since I don't have a gym membership and it seems silly not take advantage of our wonderful new location.

I did go and check out a new gym the other day, Health Works at Deagon and I'm heading in tomorrow for a free trial to see if its for me. It's just a small gym but the staff seemed really friendly and if they can assist me in reaching my goals I'll be really happy.

I'd like to get down closer to 60kg and would like to be a comfy size 10 in my clothing and want to get toned and maybe finally find the confidence in myself to rock a bikini next summer! Although ultimately its shape and sizing which I wish to achieve so if that means a few more kilos than what my mind thinks I think I'd be happy - the reflection in the mirror is what I've got to be live with and whats on show rather than the number on the scale afterall.

I know I need to tidy up my diet now I'm settled again, I've let way to many things slip back in on a too frequent basis, so tomorrow is Monday and it is currently pouring with rain here, so why not let the rain wash everything away and I can awake tomorrow to start afresh and keep working on achieving my goals.